I just had a little blast of anxiety– tingles up and down my body, my heart sped up. I’m wide awake and working, so I thought, “Hmm. What can I do to make myself feel better, to keep this from becoming worse?”
I typed, “feel calm” into Google. The first item that came up was apparently a blog called “ifeelcalm.” I thought, “Cool, someone is blogging about ways to feel calm.”
Oh, how wrong I was. How nefarious and sneaky is that?!!
I’ve similarly gone down the wrong advertising rabbit hole in the past– Once, I had a great old ottoman, and was going to get a slipcover for it. I knew that a popular slipcover company was called “Sure fit,” and had a very basic 1-800 number, like: “1 800 surefit.”
I called, picturing swaths of fabric: velvet, corduroy, damask…chocolate brown, sage green, terra cotta… When the other end picked up, a voice purred, “What size are you looking for?”
I ignored the strange unprofessionalism of the purr, and answered eagerly, “Um– I think it’s like two feet by three feet maybe? And I was hoping for velvet?”
Turns out, the “Sure fit” number I had dialed was for a specialty condom company.
(The correct number was something like, 1 888 surefit. ) The velvety voice actually continued to be helpful after my response, albeit a bit shocking in her suggestions. Flustered, I rang off.
But seriously, who sets up a PayPal advertisement under the guise of making people feel better? Do any nervous people actually find their fears alleviated by following their advice?
And what about the poor fabric store/seamstress lady manning the phones for the slipcover company? What sorts of requests did she have to mistakenly field?
Kind of reminds me of the time I was googling looking for something at work. I don’t even remember what it was, but the next thing I knew there were two of the largest boobs I had ever seen in my life full size on my computer screen. It just didn’t fit with what I was looking for. I had missed one letter. Shocking does not even describe how I felt and I was at work. Sigh.
I had that same 1-800-SUREFIT experience. When the woman asked if she could help me I said I wanted to order some sample swatches. 😉