Comments for Girl with dog and torch

Comment on First childhood memory by Karen

Karen — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:54:49 +0000

Memory is really a strange phenomenon. I don’t think we are very accurate in our memories. Unfortunately those scary ones are the memories that stand out, made an impression and are still with us today.
I remember when I melted my Mom’s silver platter by turning the wrong burner on or being embarrassed after I accidentally tattled on my favorite babysitter.
I like Christy’s idea that you change the outcome or practice remembering the good stuff. Like having my turn to sit in the front seat of the car between my parents and snuggling up to my Mom’s fur (yes the real stuff) coat. A definite treat when you have 4 siblings.
But I bet it helps to bring the scary stuff into the light of day and examine it. Everyone needs Hector & Victor to keep them safe.

Comment on First childhood memory by Christy

Christy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:23:21 +0000

“Just remember to reach out and touch the past and the future.
Well, if it’s so deep you don’t think you can speak about it,
Don’t ever think that you can’t change the past and the future.” -Kate Bush

When I finally could make out the lyrics to this song, I went back to the bad memories and have imagined that they dissolved or the place in which it happened burned down and the little girl walked out of the room into somewhere beautiful. With our minds I think we can change the past, at least for our own minds. I also try to uncover good memories or remember good memories more clearly and vividly, hoping they will push out the bad ones someday forever. I haven’t succeeded yet.

I had a holly hobby bedspread. I do miss her.

Comment on First childhood memory by Jan

Jan — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:34:29 +0000

Childhood memories are tough. It is hard to know what was just a created memory from pictures or what was real? Also stories about things when you were a kid can create memories. I think I remember my Dad standing at the screen door with one bloody hand being gripped by another and I couldn’t open the door for him. I think I was screaming and so was he. I also think I remember one day walking to kindergarten all by myself because I missed the bus and I didn’t want my parents to know. I also think I remember laying on my parents bed and watching the shadows run around the wallpaper as cars went by on the street below. Those would have been from when we lived on Lanbury and I had just turned 5 when we moved from there to Strawberry Lane. I know that there are things that I remember from that house because of pictures that are different from these memories. It is an interesting exercise.

Comment on Pro-life, except for the people I shame on Facebook by Jan

Jan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:08:57 +0000

There was an article in the paper, I think it was this morning, by Leonard Pitts about the inconguity of being for abortion and against the death penalty or vice versa. He made some very good points. Maybe I am wierd but I really am not in favor or either. I do want the woman to be able to make her own decision but I don’t like being considered pro-abortion. I also think every woman who finds herself in a situation where abortion might be an option ought to receive all the information possible about all her choices and then it is up to her to decide. Me, that is not a choice I ever could have made. I also think the death penalty is wrong, but sometimes it is just so hard to imagine a person who did something totally evil walking free again. Our justice system is not perfect and we all know that people have been killed when they really hadn’t done the crime. Leonard Pitts was talking about how when we go for the black or white stand we find ourselves in very uncomfortable positions when we have to face one of those grey areas. It was a very good article and so timely to your post.

Comment on Underdressed by Jan

Jan — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:01:27 +0000

Maybe it was that my mother made my best clothes for years that I often did reverse snobbery, “I’ll bet your mother didn’t make your dress just for you?” It worked when I realized I might be underdressed and now I at least try to have something new if I can but if it is not “up to the level” of the people we are with, so what. It is their problem not mine.

Comment on Underdressed by Karen

Karen — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:00:11 +0000

We all have those memories. Dunk is bothered by “what to wear” more than I am and I try not to embarrass him.
Clothes are just clothes & labels don’t matter in the grand scheme.

Comment on Pro-life, except for the people I shame on Facebook by Karen

Karen — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:49:12 +0000

I totally agree with your feelings about these FB posts. Abortion is legal. I have often had the argument about the morality of abortion. I look at my children and grandchildren and think they might not have been if abortion had been chosen.
Or in my office the argument is at what point to you charge someone with manslaughter of a fetus when the mother was killed. Many differing viewpoints.
But…. FB is used improperly all the time and hopefully we won’t all rue the day we opened our lives up to the air waves.

Comment on Pro-life, except for the people I shame on Facebook by Andrew

Andrew — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:10:51 +0000

It’s like the scarlet letter, isn’t it? Vigilante public shaming. I know a woman who is a doctor who does obstetrics and who has had job offers from the Planned Parenthood but who has serious reservations about it — even though she’s very pro-choice — because of the potential danger she could be putting herself in by taking a job targeted by pro-life extremists.

But, on the other hand, I know that people are passionately against abortion and see it as a moral issue akin to slavery. Radical abolitionists used to send guns to Kansas and call them “Beecher Bibles.” In the end, the abolitionists won.

How do you maintain a civil discourse with these sorts of intractable passions?

Comment on 30 Poems by Shelly

Shelly — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:13:21 +0000

I’ve found Mary Oliver’s Rules for the Dance terribly helpful in this regard. I’ve only ever written one poem I liked, and it was after several tries at writing terrible metrical verse. But she argues that one cannot write decent verse without knowing the rules first, without practicing the meter, without getting that so deep in your system you cannot get it out. I made a New Year’s resolution one year to write an at least 4 line metrical verse every day, no matter how silly or awful, just to practice getting the rhythm of it, and it was very good practice. Sometimes I would enlist other people to write lines. The only poem I ever wrote that I liked came after that practice, and it was not perfectly metrical but there was certainly rhythm and structure, a skeleton. I have lost it now.

Comment on Pro-life, except for the people I shame on Facebook by Jan

Jan — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:24:04 +0000

I am with you on this. There are just some rules about being a good citizen in a country with freedom. I think it is described as “Liberty without license” (I may have that wrong) but when your liberty rubs up against someone else’s you have to be careful. I would think especially with all the hippa rules and “rights to privacy” this would be a bigger deal. Sometimes though people get so caught up in their own feelings of righteous indignation that there is really nothing you can do to make them understand. I read a great book by Madeline L’Engel several years ago talking about idols and she talks about just this sort of thing. Sometimes we all need to return to the basics and look at who and what we are worshipping. Rant away. (And I didn’t realize you could defriend someone-there are some people I would like to do that to, but more because I am tired of their drivel rather than because I didn’t agree with them.)