Interested in…autobiography, fiction, sherds of colored glass, textures, charism, politics, food, routine, finding synchronicities. I write; I cringe when I read what I’ve written. Sometimes I don’t want to speak up, but often I must. I’m surrounded by fine examples of lives hard-won and well-lived; I feel connected to voices I can only read and faces I can only see in photograph. Sometimes I don’t feel real, and sometimes I’m too real for my own good.
February 20, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I am a girl with a dog and a torch, too. I live in St. Louis and I connect with writing. It is my way of sharing who I am with others who either need what I have or from whom I need what they have. I have been hurt by words so much in my life that now that I am approaching my 50th year of living, I really want my words to be permeated with the truths of my worth as a beloved of God. For me, this is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and whose son was Jesus.
Often, however, instead of playing the reel of film that is truth about myself in light of my christian belief, I let the world and society sing songs to me about my worth defined by how much I weigh, what my hair looks like, what clothes I am wearing, you know, THE OUTER WORLD defining who I am. This is so wrong and opposite of everything that is TRUTHFULLY life giving. Whether you believe in God or not, are Christian or not, there is a basic truth that still holds for all of us. We are NOT what the world defines us to be. WE ARE WHO WE HAVE BEEN CREATED IN LOVE TO BE. I want to grow more authentically into the true description of who I am and not what I have been taught to believe about myself. I want to slip into my new dress of belovedness and wear it everyday as if it was my favorite and most comfortable pair of pajamas.
Oh that that may be so for me.
I CAN and I AM beloved. Not just LOVED…I AM BELOVED. And so my journey continues.
Until next time,
Josephine
March 4, 2008 at 7:57 pm